Or perhaps having Superman preside over the liberation of a German castle?

Or maybe just to have Darth Vader chilling out with Stalin, Churchill and some other guy who looks like he could consume your soul with his eyes alone

Which would of course beg the question as to why we didn’t just deploy these dudes in the opening stages of the war and be done with it. I mean, I’d give Superman 24 hours to punch his way into Hitler’s bunker and then through his face. If that. We could have all just finished up for the day and gone to get ice cream. But no. We had to do it the old fashioned way. Six years of noble sacrifice and valiant struggle and such and such. So much waste. So much uneaten ice cream. Sigh. Stupid war.

/Luke

[The photos are the work of Indonesian artist Agan Harahap and the full gallery can be checked out over at Format Mag. Pretty rad concept, I'm sure you'll agree.]

I can’t recall having read anything which sums me up better. Seriously. The other day, I only had a limited amount of cash on me and had to cook dinner. I was terrifying close to impulse-buying an Ice Age 3 pez dispenser. I almost went hungry for a Pez dispenser. And I don’t even like Ice Age. In fact, I once referred to the entire franchise in passing as “hobgoblin vomit”, but I’d never seen a pez dispenser with tusks and a trunk before, and my simemtaneously complex and retardedly simple brain got all baffled and enamoured.

Long story short, I’m probably the dumbest smart guy you’ll ever meet. Confusingly charming, isn’t it?

/Paul

It’s Monday! Again! If you’re in a shit job and you’re on the cusp of quitting for all the right reasons, but can’t muster up that final screed of willpower, this MIGHT help. I say might because you really can’t dictate what will or won’t spur people to do things. I guess if you could do that, you’d be this chick right here.

And by ‘chick’, I mean ‘distended fish psychic’.

/Paul

(Link via XKCD, via Teeje!)

Image comics, I label I generally avoid with all the tenacity of a… very… uh, tenacious thing*, has released The New Brighton Archaeological Society. Mark Andrew Smith and Matthew Weldon have tried to fuse influences such as Peter Pan, Lord of the Rings and several mythical eastern tales. The story centres around a group of intrepid kids who explore, invent and… good god. If this isn’t wish fulfillment for every nerdy kid out there, I’ll eat me hat.

…Yes, I said eat me hat. I’m feeling a tad Dick Van Dyck-ish today (and by that, I mean I’ve been doing a fucking awful British accent, and compulsively cleaning chimneys).

The four main characters are orphans, whose parents (archaeologists) were killed in a terrible accident. Now, I grew up reading Enid Blyton, wherein young curious adventurers battled smugglers, discovered treasure, and generally had the time of their lives. I also read C.S. Lewis without picking up on the Christian subtext I was being battered with, and instead focussed on the wonderful story of kids who managed to live more than any adult ever did. Most titles I’m enjoying at present are flat out terrifying, with the possible exception of Fables. If you tried to give Y: The Last Man, Preacher or 100 Bullets to the young Paul, he’d never pee straight again. What The New Brighton Archaeological Society is attempting is, by all accounts, the fusing adventure and learning, without being condescending.

And whilst I’m not a child, my inner child is going to read the shit out of this.

(A preview of the comic can be read over at IGN)

/Paul

(Link via Boing Boing)

*I’ve just woken up, cut me a break.

If you’re having trouble following this subprime mortgage malarkey (vintage profanities are making a comeback, so you’d best step correct), you aren’t alone. I for one love a good visual aid, so imagine my relief when I found a webcomic/slideshow entitled The Subprime Mortgage Primer. It’s surprisingly thorough, and very informative, in a whimsical way. Never before have stick figures taught me so much.*

/Paul

*This is not entirely true. My parents used stick figures for my first sex-ed talk. As a result I have an incurably simplistic and pointy understanding of the female body.

(Click the above picture to view a larger, readable version)

Kids are Awesome is a webcomic I dug up recently, and whilst the authors name is obviously a pseudonym, the comic itself is quite good (if you’re a fan of Red Meat like I am, I’m sure you’ll get a kick out of it). There’s something deeply disturbing about those kids, though. I can just imagine them turning around and having glistening beehives for faces.

Damn, now I want honey on toast…

/Paul

The first World Of Warcraft trade paperback has hit stands in Australia today. I’ve only read the first three issues before now, and I’m a sucker for a hardcover trade, even if the cover art is blindingly mediocre. Regardless, the story (which I’ll admit doesn’t push any narrative boundaries) follows an amnesiac who washes up near Durotar and becomes a gladiator, befriending a night elf druid and a blood elf mage. Imagine The Bourne Identity meets Gladiator, meets Caravan of Courage. Sounds bizarre, doesn’t it? Yeah. If you’re having problems halfway through, I recommend Mylanta. It allowed me to get through One More Day.

Great, now I’m getting Spidey reflux. I think I threw up in my mouth a little.

/Paul

This morning on the Breakfast Show, I discussed:

- How a Japanese man faked a kidnapping to get a Nintendo Wii, and the possibility that Japanese appliances don’t actually talk, but are accompanied by prankster ventriloquists.

- The viability of the first impending commercial jetpack, and why jumping out of trees with umbrellas doesn’t work.

- The new animated Clone Wars feature, and George Lucas. God, I hate him.

- Star Trek Online. Please don’t be another Star Wars Galaxies. I love that the website says “be part of a thriving Star Wars community”. It’s thriving about as much as Corey Feldman is right now.

- The retirement of Manchux. Bah!

- Charles Darwin’s posthumous attempt to prove Blondes have more fun.

- The discovery of Poo on Mars. Yes, yes, it’s very funny, but is anyone else worried the dinosaurs just hopped planets? Anyone? Fine, be that way.

Remember to head over to the JJJ Breakfast Show Guestbook and let us know what you thought of the show. Incidentally, you did hear me correctly if you listened to todays show; I will be interviewing some cast from the Whedonverse quite soon. Stay tuned for more info!

Before I finish up, As I mentioned previously my dear friend Ned has retired his warrior, Manchux. As a tribute, here’s a video of his attempts to kill himself by jumping off Teldrassil. You shall be missed, my retarted friend.

/Paul

In what appears to be evidence of an extremely sloppy ancient martian civilisation, the Phoenix lander may have found poo on Mars. To fill you all in, in June NASA revealed the instruments on Phoenix had found Martian soil was not toxic, as had been thought, and could be used to grow crops such as asparagus, or red sorghum (ha ha). Now, however, it has been revealed quantities of ammonium and nitrate salts have been found, and this typically means one thing: excrement. NASA is being very hush-hush, and the internet buzz is harboring whispers of ancient farming runoff. Evidence of farms would in turn mean martian farmers, one assumes.

Does this mean J’onn J’onzz hails from a race of mighty aliens who spent centuries farming vast stockpiles of poop?

…I sure hope so.

/Paul