The Somewhat Ambitious

Hello, you sexy bitches. Once again, World of Nerdcraft has happened all over your face and/or clothing. Here’s a breakdown of what Tom, Alex and myself chatted about this morning:

- In human behavioral news, new research at the university of Kyoto indicates that young chimps may have better memories than college students. To be fair, though, beer bongs, hacky-sack and hazing have yet to become staples of the everyday life of chimps. As far as we know.

- We briefly touched on some military tech news: a new, stealthier type of chopper has been invented! Will Gillette use this technology to design a huge, terrifying, multi-bladed razor that can give a clean shave AND carry dignitaries to important functions. OR BOTH.

-In some absolutely brain-shittingly adorable animal news, A LABRADOR HAS BEEN GIVEN A MEDAL. Treo, a black labrador retriever, has been given a military award for rescuing his human peeps in Afghanistan. LOOK AT HIS FACE! WHO’S A GOOD BOY? WHO’S A GOOD HIGHLY DECORATED WAR HERO? YES YOU ARE! YES YOU… ahem.

- We touched on some very Shawshank Redemptiony news: a Dutch convict recently used a spoon to dig herself out of prison. The fact that she only had 22 months left on her sentence suggests that either (a) she’s nuts, or (b) the whole thing is a viral campaign to promote the new album by Spoon. And if the latter is the case, bravo, Spoon. Bravo.

- I gave a quick update on my quest to get knighted! A family friend MIGHT be able to hook me up but, and I cannot stress this enough, I am willing, and able, to get knighted by multiple kingdoms, duchys, and whathaveyou. Hell, I’ll even let a shady cult knight me as long as I get to ride around on a white horse and use a javelin to puncture shit.

- And finally, we discussed vampires! Specifically, the fact that a woman initially thought to be a vampire, whose remains were found in a mass grave in Italy a few years back, may have been a witch, and not a vampire as scientists initially thought. HOW EMBARRASSMENT.

Seriously though. How much do you want a delicious Brickwich right about now?

Mmmmm. Teeth-breakishly delicious.

I’ll catch you all, as usual, on weekend breakfast, 6-10am every Saturday and Sunday, and I’ll be back for yet another installment of World of Nerdcraft with Tom and Alex next Monday. Until then, remember: do stuff. Do stuff in a place.

/Paul