I love self-explanatory blog titles.
I also love Antiques Roadshow. Not even in an ironic way; my father was, and still is unless yesterday he had a massive career crisis, a dealer in antiques, and as a result the whole scene gets me fierce wet.
Yep. I just dropped some fierce wet in your lap.
The best thing about AR isn’t the surging overtone of heartbreak, or mortality, or even the musty smell of tweed. It’s the weird shit that occasionally surfaces. Take, for example, this PIG. It’s a circa 1900 wheelie-toy thing, and in a single moment, upon viewing it, I completely understood why turn-of-the-twentieth-century children were so brain-shittingly creepy. When you combine the fact that there were chimney sweeps still living and operating in major urban sprawls, coupled with dangerous levels of chalk inhalation, and you add this fucking DEMON PIG into the mix… well. Is it any wonder so many houses are haunted by glassy-eyed little cretins in petty coats, speaking in unison and burning you armpit hair with their mind powers?
No. No, it fucking isn’t.
(You can view the upsetting appraisal video here.)
/Paul
10 responses so far ↓
1 luke // Feb 19, 2010 at 5:41 pm
i still maintain it’s adorable. and not fucking terrifying… well, maybe a bit fucking terrifying.
2 blotto // Feb 20, 2010 at 11:06 am
I love AR but as much i enjoy seeing the oldies have a heart attack when they are told there shitty little vase is worth more than their bionic hip i always manage to fall asleep during it, if tyler durden had AR he would never have met tyler durden
3 Taylor // Feb 20, 2010 at 11:14 am
Dude, Boingboing just blogged this. You beat Boingboing to the punch! Kick ass!!
4 Aqualec // Feb 22, 2010 at 10:24 am
That thing is evil….
5 waterfail // Feb 22, 2010 at 11:12 am
that’s so creepy i could sneeze
6 Curare // Feb 22, 2010 at 11:55 am
burning “your” armpit hair, but I will let it slide. It’s a Monday so I’m feeling extra nice.
The pig is mind meltingly creepy. Apart from the fact that it has a “bitey” mouth which I assume is operated by pushing said swine across your lovely parquet, the thought of seeing a biting pig come scooting serenely across the floor, seemingly hovering as it floats towards me would certainly make me want to invade Poland at a point later in life.
7 Sarah // Feb 22, 2010 at 12:20 pm
Demon Pig!
As a fellow antique dealers child… I can say this would have been one of those things i would have seen in a shop and it would have given me night terrors along with the creepy glass eyes in fox furs
8 Marlo Perry // Feb 24, 2010 at 5:24 pm
Hey, I think it’s cute!
My mum collects good bears and she has one by a bear company that’s probably the same era but it’s a snail with a postman bear on its back….on wheels.
Why are they all on wheels? Laziness?
9 Fitzwilliam // Feb 25, 2010 at 4:33 pm
It’s saying “Oh, go ahead. Eat bacon, bitches. We’ll see who has the last laugh.”.
The last laugh will indubitably belong to the wheely pig.
10 Poppet // Feb 25, 2010 at 4:48 pm
taking OM NOM NOM to terrifying news depths
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