The Somewhat Ambitious

Ototo has designed a bitchin’* little submarine that you fill with tea, and send off on an adventure into a cup of boiling water!

To make things more relatable, here’s a little reenactment of how things might go down. James Upworth, formerly an orphan, has had a hard life. James managed to climb his way up the social ladder; not too high, mind, but high enough to gain entry into the esteemed British navy. One night, at a military soiree, he caught the eye of a gorgeous lass (one Moira McTaggart), and the two consumated their love under the stars.

On the eve of their honeymoon, an urgent telegram arrived with a clatter at their ramshackle door. The unthinkable had occured: war had struck! James gave his new wife a hard kiss on her sweet British mouth, patted her belly (within which lay his impending progeny), and rushed down to the nearby dock to embark.

Unbeknownst to all fifty six souls aboard, the ocean below the waiting sub had been headed to boiling point, and once the H.M.S. Pippy (for that was our vessels name) was submerged, the entire crew were liquefied, their fresh skin sloughing from their bones as if they were but hunks of overcooked chicken.

And James, as he died screaming, clutched a locket, within which was a locket of hair from his sweet beloved.

…But on the other hand, DELICIOUS TEA!

(Link via Swiss Miss)

/Paul

*Yes, I’m aware that using this term makes me sound like an extra from Point Break. No, I don’t care. Well, I do obviously, given that I’ve written up a rambling, pseudo-apologetic footnote but… fuck you! You don’t own me! Aaaaand so forth.