The Somewhat Ambitious

Long-term readers of The Somewhat Ambitious will know that, alongside North Korea, our other despotic regime of choice has always been the mighty Russia. I mean, what’s not to like? Brutal and bloody history, oppressive landscape and unlivable climate, plentiful concrete factories and open strip mines, and a fine line in the dourest/most alcoholic politicians on this fair planet. The LULZ pretty much write themselves. As do the state-sanctioned killings.

But I understand some of you may not share this deep-seated, and slightly morbid fascination with the place, so in order to help you out, I’ve compiled a selection of three videos which, in chronological order and in just over a minute, pretty much tell you everything you need to know about the governance of Russia from the collapse of the USSR on.

And yes, that last one is Putin refusing a piece of candy. Because that’s the kind of happy-go-lucky guy he is. Vladimir “Giggles” Putin they call him. Before he kills them. The only candy I can imagine him actually eating is candy hewn from the walls of the Siberian candy mines by the hands of enslaved orphans. Who he then kills.*

/Luke

* Ok, sure, there’s no direct evidence suggesting Putin has ever killed, or thought about killing orphans, but look at him! I wouldn’t leave my orphans with him. He’d be the worst babysitter ever.**
** And now I have a mental image of Putin as a member of The Babysitter’s Club. Long blonde hair and everything. Still the same cold, lifeless, judging eyes though. I think he’d probably be the leader of the club, instead of Kristy Thomas. Who he presumably killed. Poor Kristy.