I come to you today with the tragic and unexpected news that Super Mario… is dead. No, not that awful Bob Hoskins knock-off, I’m talking about the real, the original Super Mario: Captain Lou Albano. Who? This man:
Seriously, the Princess wanted to marry him? Although, if I were Bowser, the prospect of that guy coming after me would be vastly more terrifying than a regulation fat Italian plumber giving it a shot. I mean, look at him. He’d rip your eyelids off as soon as look as you. For those of you who have no idea what on Earth is going on, Lou Albano was a wrestler who also just so happened to play the role of Mario in the kids TV show Super Mario Bros, which aired from 1989-1991. I was 5 at the time, and even at that age I can remember being dazzled by exactly how crap it was. If you want a succinct example of exactly what level of crapness we’re talking about, then behold the single take glory that was the closing credits:
Two comments:
1. “Swing you arms from side to side” and “take one step, and then again” does not a dance make. Although it does look like the only kind of dance a man of that build might be capable of attacking.
2. Was Lou Albano drunk? I’m almost positive he fluffs the landing at the very end. And there’s really not that much of a landing to fluff either.
Not that the general air of mediocrity dissuaded me from watching it. I ate the show up with the same fervour with which I consumed my morning Cheerios (I was in Canada at the time) in the hope of procuring another Mario sticker. Stickers, man! Wasn’t that just the highlight of your 5 year old day? Ah, I wish I had some stickers now. Anyway, it’s sad to see him go. It was too soon. Another couple of years and the world probably would have been ready for a remake.
Now we’ll just have to make do with Weekend at Mario’s.
[via Boing Boing]
9 responses so far ↓
1 Tess // Oct 16, 2009 at 1:14 pm
Amazing! I’ve now got this voice in my head screaming out “DO THE MARIO!” over and over again.
2 Taylor // Oct 16, 2009 at 2:17 pm
I remember Lou’s work in the wrestling world and I definitely remember this show when it was first run here in the States.
I’m really rather sad his passing didn’t even make the news broadcasts here. I guess the internets will suffice in a pinch.
3 Willian! // Oct 16, 2009 at 3:03 pm
I never knew there was a Mario show..
And now I want stickers.
Thank you SO much.
4 Cassie // Oct 16, 2009 at 9:11 pm
……….What? I’m still stuck on the squirrel-fish.
WHAT THE DICKENS IS WITH THAT BEAST?
5 Willian! // Oct 17, 2009 at 3:06 pm
…Take one step and then again….
It never ends! D-8
6 Taylor // Oct 18, 2009 at 2:09 am
Lest we not forget that taking one step and then another while swinging your arms looks exactly like how Mario moves across the screen.
8-bit fo-eva!
7 J // Oct 19, 2009 at 11:42 am
I dunno, the intro aint much better:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3w2fi_f5OLY
I’d have to say that Lugi complements Mario’s dancing aptitude.
8 Kia // Oct 20, 2009 at 3:07 pm
Does anyone else remember the movie? That was so advanced for it’s age… I gotta get me a copy!
… i have stickers! I’m at work and I have a role of boring orange dots. But pair two of those puppies with three long orange page markers and I got me a smilie face! My computer tower is feeling pretty happy right now and I think once my boss sees it he will take two of my dots and three of my page markers and make hisself a sad face…
9 Aqualec // Oct 25, 2009 at 12:57 pm
I completly forgot until someone showed me this morning, he was Cindy Lauper’s “Dad” in the “Girl’s Just Wanna Have Fun” film clip
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