So. What the fuck are Peeps?
If you’re one of our American readers (or, as is entirely possible, you have a sugar addiction that nimbly transcends international borders), you’ll know of THE PEEP as a marshmallow treat. Initially pitched as an easter confection shaped as chicks, bunnies, and other animals, THE PEEP is one of those things which gets mentioned a great deal in popular culture, but rarely explained. I regularly read swathes of Archie comics (I identified with Jughead. So much so that I wore a paper crown to school once, and was punched in the sternum for my efforts. By someone who clearly favoured the character “Moose”) and Baby Sitters Club books as a pre-teen (shut up, those girls worked AND solved mysteries), and the amount of U.S. specific food references had me frazzled for years. Many of these foodstuffs reached an almost mythical status to me. What was this “Kool-Aid”? And were “Jolly Ranchers” and “Pop-Tarts” regional delicacies, or could you buy them (and enjoy the ensuing diabetes) anywhere?
The Peep always help the most fascination for me, though. So I figured I’d do a quick breakdown of exactly what a Peep is, based on the information I have at hand. I’ve yet to taste one, but to be fair, “historians” have been able to discern the skin pigment of Jesus Christ based solely on heresay and fantastic tales, so I guess I’m allowed to take a few guesses.
Let’s take a look at the official definition of “Peep”, shall we?
Peeps are produced by Just Born, a candy manufacturer based in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. Peeps were introduced nationally in 1958 by Pravin Pant Sr., a Nepali immigrant. When Just Born acquired Rodda Candy Company in 1953, they automated the process (originally the chicks were formed by hand) and mass-produced them. The yellow chicks were the original form of the candy — hence their name — but then the company introduced other colors and, eventually, the myriad shapes in which they are now produced.
…What? Where am I? Oh, that’s right. I’d fallen asleep on account of how mind-numbingly inane that was. Let’s try another definition. Urban Dictionary, fill me with sweet flavour.
Marshmallow candies in the shape of rabbits and baby chickens. Usually served around Easter. Also short for “people”. Eg; I’m audi this sunday to chill with some peeps.
Better. And I gather they’re delicious, given that they’re made entirely of sugar. But what about their status as pop-cultural icons? Well, I did a little digging… and I do mean “little”… and I found out they’re apparently INDESTRUCTABLE. Meaning scientists conducted tests to see if they could be burned, broken down, etc, and scientists at Emory University* said “the eyes of the confectionery wouldn’t dissolve in anything”. I’m assuming that incudes stomach acids, so if you’re into Peeps, you now know what that terrible grinding, rattling noise coming from your torso is.
But all of this is just supposition. Here are some of the choicest videos of attempted Peep destruction.
Evidently people who film Peeps being microwaved have no sense of what is and isn’t entertaining.
Better. And I think we’ve all learned something.
Right?
/Paul
*Sounds reputable enough.
9 responses so far ↓
1 Ryan K Lindsay // Sep 28, 2009 at 1:39 pm
You owe me two minutes. Damn, what is wrong with that video. I could have shown you the same thing in about twenty seconds with way less cuts. Fucking amateur hour assclowns.
Also, peep eaters’ poops have peep eyes. Creepy.
2 Kia // Sep 28, 2009 at 2:30 pm
Wow – epic confession that you read baby sitters club. I did too as a tween and I also devoured Archie Comics like they were staples for my eyes. (staples, as in like, diet staples like cheese or bread or milk or pizza). But they were so expensive – $8.50 when all I got for pocket money was $5 back in the day. But yeah, I’d bet you my $5 pocket money that you read Animorphs & Goosebumps books too.
I totally get you with their confectionary being a whole other language! For years (prior to the internet) I was like “WHAT THE F*CK IS A HERSHEY CRUNCH?!! AND WHO IS CAPTAIN CRUNCH!! ARE ALL THESE IDIOTS EATING GRAVEL?!!” So yeah, I appreciate your posting. And in the words of the bots spamming my site repeatedly:
“I really enjoyed this post. You should post about this more.”
3 Jimmy // Sep 28, 2009 at 9:02 pm
Pop-Tarts were the best food ever! I wish they still sold them here….
4 Taylor // Sep 29, 2009 at 12:23 am
Finally, a post that I can be an expert on (being in America and all)!
First, Paul, if USA Foods in Melb doesn’t have Peeps or these other oddball American foods of which you speak, send me a list on Facebook, and I’ll ship em over.
Second, Peeps…yes, all sugar, covered in sugar, not a low GI food! I’ve been subject to all manner of Peep dares…eat some with salsa, eat one slightly charred by a lighter, eat one with mustard on it, etc. I’m sure Peeps could become a NFF punishment!!
Third, @Kia, Hershey Crunch, I presume, is our Nestle Crunch…a choc bar with Rice Krispies (Bubbles…you call em Rice Bubbles, right?) in them. Cap’n Crunch is just one of those wild American sugary cereals (though I’ve heard they make a decent breading for chicken strips if you mash them up first).
And yes, Pop Tarts good…great for camping!
5 Kia // Sep 29, 2009 at 9:49 am
@Taylor – WOOT! Thanks! Hershey crunch sounds good actually! Anyone seen them in Australia yet? I think maybe they’re at Blockbuster (next to their stash of Pop-Tarts in unusual flavours). I’ll check it out this very evening…
@Paul: What’s with the J-Crew interrupting you all the time?!! I got so mad this morning!!! And my husband kept turning down the radio so he could talk to me about Dragon Ball Z after you spoke of it but I’m like “Nuh uh.” and turned it back up. Lol! Gotta download the podcast me thinks – missed to much of it between going Hulk when they wouldn’t let you rant properly and the hubby going nerd-ass about DBZ…
Maybe I’ll go on the JJJ Morning Crew blog and remind them that you are a “guest” on their program and therefore they should probably let you speak… :-p
6 Reid // Sep 29, 2009 at 10:59 am
USA Foods in Moorabbin has Pop Tarts. I picked some up over the weekend, but haven’t yet worked up the courage to try one. I don’t think I’ve built up enough of a sugar tolerance yet.
They also have Kool Aid, Jolly Ranchers, Cap’s Crunch and loads of other iconic products.
Stay clear of Red Vines though. They can’t do red liquorice to save themselves (tastes like plastic)
7 Marn E // Sep 29, 2009 at 11:28 am
Damn you Verhoeven! I just spent thirty minutes of my allegedly productive work time back in Stoneybrook at that BSC wiki. It has nothing to do with Peeps, I know, but you have shone a light on a time of my life I had relegated to the long-term memory dustbin. Just briefly, I was eleven again, and facing the terrifying prospect of puberty.
Cheers!
8 Rach // Sep 29, 2009 at 1:33 pm
But don’t you just *hate* Kristy? Claudia was easily the best. Girl knew how to work it.
(My sugar addiction transcends continents, but it’s not particularly nimble. It’s more Big Ears than Bambi.)
9 Kia // Sep 29, 2009 at 1:55 pm
Lol! I DID hate Kristy! She was too shy to pash what’s his face… Brett? No, Bart! Haha! Claudia was my secret favorite but i always wanted to be Stacey. Still think Stacey should’ve done the modelling rather than rock up to the kids play…
Leave a Comment