The Somewhat Ambitious

Look. I never do this. I never trawl the World of Warcraft forums, hoping to find something funny or at least coherent. But if you play WOW, or are familiar with any of the lore, you’ll get a kick out of this. Katinie, from the guild Midnight Eclipse, wrote up a transcript of an interview with Ragnaros, elemental lord of fire and general ballbag. Here it is.

——

Hello, reporting live from Blizzcon and the news on everyone’s mind is of course the announcement of the next World of Warcraft expansion, Cataclysm. Joining me here with exclusive details on the expansion is Ragnaros, Elemental Lord of Fire.

Reporter – “First, thank you for your time with me today. I understand you are incredibly busy preparing for your role in this expansion.

Ragnaros – “WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS INTRUSION?”

Reporter – “Well I, like millions of other World of Warcraft fans out there, would love to know more about your particular role in this expansion. For example, what are the lore reasons for you to be back in the game?

Ragnaros – “BOLDLY, YOU SOUGHT THE POWER OF RAGNAROS. NOW YOU SHALL SEE IT FIRSTHAND!”

Reporter – “It is reported that you are going to be attacking the World Tree. Anything more you can tell us about this?”

Ragnaros – “BY FIRE BE PURGED!”

Reporter – “So you are intending to burn the World Tree?

Ragnaros – “TASTE THE FLAMES OF SULFURON!”

Reporter – “Right…anywho, next question. Reports have surfaced that Garrosh Hellscream and orcs loyal to him, will be taking over leadership of the Horde. Any thoughts on these big developments?

Ragnoras – “YOU ALLOWED THESE INSECTS TO RUN RAMPANT THROUGH THE HALLOW CORE?”

Reporter – “That’s more of Blizzard’s doing really. Any advice for those Horde players that prefer Thrall in charge?

Ragnoras – “DEFEND YOUR MASTER!”

Reporter – “Will do. Final question before I know you have to go. Any idea when Cataclysm will be released?

Ragnoras – “TOO SOON™!”

——

And after reading that back, I’ve just realised how pointless it is for anyone who hasn’t fought Ragnaros. I promise my next entry will be far less niche.*

/Paul

*Lies. All lies.