Before you go any further with this blog post, play this video game and say to yourself “what the fuck just happened?”
Meet Leroy Smith. He’s the man who beat out Michael Jordan for the last spot in their tenth grade basketball team, thereby inspiring him to become the greatest basketball player in history. Spotting in this a unique opportunity to export failure as a road to success, Leroy has started up his own motivational website Get Your Basketball On(.com), dedicated to motivizing [sic] people to success through the metaphor of basketball domination. He also has Facebook and Twitter pages, as well as an iPhone app, so you can have regular motivational messages delivered to you throughout the day. Handy. Of course it’s all a clever marketing ploy by the lovely (?) people at Nike, but hey, it stars Charlie Murphy (who up until this promotion I had assumed was just another alter ego of Eddie Murphy) and has the benefit of actually being, you know, entertaining. Some samples from his Twitter feed:
FAQ: Yes, when I am in Australia, I motivize backwards. But my success is always the same. Butterscotch!
Just landed. Feel great. Motivized guy next to me 2 develop a peanut allergy so I ate his peanuts as well.
Leaving zoo. Question: If a man wants to wrestle a bear & agrees not to hold zoo responsible, would you stop him? Me neither.
And this is Leroy from his motivational DVD series. Deep.
I guess there’s no real news value to this post, and I’m not really doing anything except aiding Nike’s already pronounced global sports shoe ascendancy, but you gotta admit that b-ball game is pretty much the best thing that has ever happened to Flash. And I’m still reeling from the fact that Charlie Murphy wasn’t just a character in Bowfinger. I mean, shit, they look so alike. Also, I think I may have been distracted by Heather Graham’s breasts. Man, she gets naked for anybody. There she is, she doesn’t do anything for ages, she appears in The Hangover for 15 minutes and BAM! Boobs.
What a great actress.
/Luke
14 responses so far ↓
1 Peta // Jul 16, 2009 at 3:08 pm
“LEROY SMITH! REQUESTIN’ PERMISSION TO… LAAND!”
…I really want some nikes now.
lol also luke, I love that you wrote Michael Jackson instead of Jordan. I wish this story was about Michael Jackson becoming who he was because of his ‘motivization’ of being a crap basketball player.
2 luke // Jul 16, 2009 at 3:21 pm
hahaha, hilarious. good to know i proofread and make sure i submit only the highest quality writing to this website.
although there was that whole michael jackson vs michael jordan thing from the early 90s…
3 Peta // Jul 16, 2009 at 3:23 pm
hey you were on morphine recently (or still are?) – it makes most of our imaginations go wild. My 1st cousin asked me out when he was on morphine – it was awkward.
I realise I’m accidentally dumping on the things you do again. I’m sorry.
4 Peta // Jul 16, 2009 at 3:25 pm
Also I believe they came together for the music video of Jam http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=13ZGZexsaFo
5 Kia // Jul 16, 2009 at 4:49 pm
Lol; came together…
6 Kia // Jul 16, 2009 at 4:52 pm
I want some nikes, all I got is some nearly no-brand ones that make my feet sad.
(
I don’t have any morphine stories to add to the table but my dad broke his nose playing waterpolo once and they put him on pethadine. He said to me “Daughter, if you’re ever in hospital and in pain, ask to be put on pethadine. That was the most fun I’ve ever had.”
I like my dad!
)
7 Peta // Jul 16, 2009 at 5:03 pm
morphine makes me ill unfortunately, though every time I go into hospital – regardless of how loudly I tell them not to give it to me (even as with few months ago after they asked me to count back from 10 before surgery) – they always give it to me.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s fantastic when I’m on it – but several minutes after taking me off, I seem to turn into a junkie who can’t get her next hit. It’s not pretty.
8 Peta // Jul 16, 2009 at 5:04 pm
Sorry Luke – the comments section has gone to drugs.
9 luke // Jul 16, 2009 at 9:14 pm
mmm, pain relief. it was my first morphine outing since i was 15, so i was interested to see whether i had a keener eye for the experience. turns out i did, but the nausea remained the same. the morphine did what it had to, but then i think i got a little ‘recreational’ with it on the second morning and after a suite of reasonably pleasant semi-hallucinatory half-awake dreams i woke up into a very unpleasant reality of grogginess and vomiting. there are better chemical thrills out there, i’m sure.
10 Peta // Jul 17, 2009 at 4:15 pm
I found Endone to be of good value after I got off the Morphine freak out. It’s not as strong and doesn’t have any fun hallucinogenic features, but gives a nice warm fuzzy feeling.
Then I had a panic attack and they gave me valium. Now THAT my friend, is a good combination, with no nausea! I feel like Billy Mays.
Good luck with the extra operation mate, hope you’re alright.
11 blotto // Jul 18, 2009 at 12:16 am
disappointed would have to be the first thinG i have to say.
reasons why.
1. where the hell is tramdalf!
2. inconsistency of NFF! ITS FIRDAY AND IM STILL HAVING SEX!
3. charlie murrphy has been the only good thing goin for that family since the nutty professor haven’t you ever seen the dave chapelle show!
IM RICK JAMES BITCH!
12 blotto // Jul 18, 2009 at 12:17 am
lol thats pretty good for drunk typing
13 Drew // Jul 18, 2009 at 7:10 pm
Haha, wow.
This is some of the best internet i have seen in a long time.
14 Rappers and Fast Food: A Winning Combination // Oct 21, 2009 at 7:49 am
[...] Leroy Smith on the other hand, now there was a advertising campaign. I mean, sure I still haven’t bought any Nike products, but it did teach me that Eddie Murphy and Charlie Murphy were two entirely distinct people. So, that’s something. [...]
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