The one thing that truly creeped me out as a child (and now), is sex education. The very notion of having people talk with me about sex, especially when said people are adults wearing either a) gingham or b) tweed repulses me to the very core of my being. In fact, the idea of adults + sex gave me the jibblies* so badly that any time myself and the family were watching a film, I’d leave the room and take a “seventeen minute shit” whenever anyone onscreen so much as hinted that they were aroused.
…For the record, I didn’t refer to my bathroom sojourn as a “seventeen minute shit” out loud, that’s just what I called it in my head. You can do a lot in seventeen minutes, including coaxing your balls to come back out from your stomach, where the retreated previously due to aforementioned near-miss.
Anyway, I started to wonder if sex education could be any more awkward and stilted.
Turns out I was right.
I’d like to think that classes like this one are the reason the world is such a confusing place. Does the mentally impaired woman really NEED to know there are three holes? I mean, obviously she NEEDS to know. BUT DO I NEED TO KNOW SHE NEEDS TO KNOW?
No.
/Paul
*The “jibblies” are the most profound feelings of being creeped out, and are often accompanied by genital retraction.
11 responses so far ↓
1 Aqualec // Jul 8, 2009 at 10:31 am
Oh… wow… you sure this isn’t an early entrant for No Fuck Friday @Paul?
2 Peta // Jul 8, 2009 at 10:42 am
Unlike you Paul, sex-ed was my favourite subject. I was always top of the class, much to the disgust of my christian PE teachers.
After school, instead of working in retail – I went on to teach sex and drug education in high schools – one of the randoms that schools hire to put a condom on a banana for the kids so the regular teachers don’t have to.
…Now I work in radio. Go figure.
3 Luke // Jul 8, 2009 at 11:06 am
i still think the scottish have the right idea when it comes to sex ed: http://www.bebooksonline.co.uk/boys_and_girls/default.htm
4 paul // Jul 8, 2009 at 11:41 am
Is it wrong that I was totally aroused by this?
5 Chantelle // Jul 8, 2009 at 11:43 am
That was disturbing. Learning about puberty from Mario and Luigi was far more educational
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uOKAdsdNgcc
6 Peta // Jul 8, 2009 at 11:47 am
@Paul: In a word… yes.
7 Peta // Jul 8, 2009 at 11:55 am
Also, Chantelle – that is made of win. Why isn’t it being shown in every school?
8 Aqualec // Jul 8, 2009 at 11:57 am
I still remember my first Sex Education/Information Night in Year 6, you had to bring your parents.
9 Finn // Jul 8, 2009 at 12:55 pm
This makes me think it’s from the same stable that produced the video that explained periods to a girl with Down Syndrome.
10 Anthony // Jul 11, 2009 at 3:00 pm
A premature no fuck friday?
I feel skeevy… that’s halfway between squeamish and the heebie jeebies
11 Taylor // Jul 25, 2009 at 4:22 am
Wow…BoingBoing.net just now got around to posting this gem!
http://www.boingboing.net/2009/07/24/sex-education-for-me.html
You guys are soooo cutting edge here!
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