A movie for people who enjoy:
- Top knots
- Tea pouring
- Men doing manly things. Like killing.
- Killing
- Stern looks
- Winsome looks
- Eyes
- The gentle art of noble sacrifice
- Burning
- Chinese nationalism
- War drums
- Declarative sentences
- Pyrrhic victories
- The use of caprice as a pivotal narrative device
Not a movie for people who enjoy:
- Coffee
- Sophisticated character arcs
- Subtlety
- Individualism
- A Woody Allen approach to dialogue
- The sanctity of life
- The gentle art of tracking shots
- The LOLs
- Contemporary methods of disease control
- Emotional engagement
- Simple character differentiation
- Any dessert based around custard
All in all, I give it seventy thousand dead Chinese peasants out of a hundred thousand. Life is cheap. This movie wasn’t.
/Luke
8 responses so far ↓
1 SirWulfric // Jul 28, 2009 at 10:59 pm
Them’s some hot topknots.
2 regina // Jul 28, 2009 at 11:15 pm
i think i would like the film on the basis of the tea-pouring alone (‘though i have to say i’m not big on men in robes). and 10/10 for the review! a dot-point summary is perfect for someone with my attention span. so what film are we talking about here?
3 Taylor // Jul 29, 2009 at 12:48 am
Am I mad for thinking the guy on the right in the picture looks like an Asian-ized Orlando Bloom?
4 paul // Jul 29, 2009 at 6:59 am
I think the fact that we kept turning to each other and giggling was a pretty god indicator of it’s boyish scope.
5 Aqualec // Jul 29, 2009 at 10:00 am
Saw this the other week and found out today it was actually cut down from over 280 Mins in two parts to 148 Mins for Western Audiences.
Wouldn’t mind grabbing a copy of that 2 part version.
6 luke // Jul 29, 2009 at 12:58 pm
@Taylor: you’re totally right! i was wondering why he looked so familiar. it’s orlando bloom in yellowface!
7 Taylor // Jul 29, 2009 at 2:26 pm
@luke: LOL Yellowface…not quite as cool as Yellowbeard, eh?
8 Ben // Jul 29, 2009 at 5:41 pm
Was this a review of the Western version or the original 2-parter? I hear the original adds afforementioned character arcs and emotionality, unsure regarding the custard though..
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