The Somewhat Ambitious

Shortly, you’ll be able to read all about Nerds of a Feather from this morning. But first, some housekeeping. Today, Luke turns 24! Yes, almost a quarter of a century ago, the lab where Luke was assembled had a surprise in store for the world. Not content to have created the worlds first sentient robot, they’d decided to imbue said robot with the one thing the world needed.

Funk.

Yes, Luke Ryan was the worlds first sentient “Negrodroid”. Imbued with raw funk, as well as an inate desire to help his fellow brothers and sisters fight ‘The Man’, Negrodroid Ryan cut a swathe of cocoa justice across the planet. Sadly, after failing to save Gary Coleman from Captain Yankee one fateful day around 1992, he succumbed to his more human qualities, and overindulged in drink, drugs and watermelons.

Years later, after regaining a tenuous foothold back in society, he has taken up residence in Melbourne, and for some reason has shed his funky roots to become THE WHITEST MAN ALIVE. Nevertheless, I salute you, Negrodroid (aka Fagulon). May your cogs never grow rusty. Oh, and if the preceeding story offended you, it’s pretty much the exact plot of Undercover Brother, a film in which (this is not a joke) the lead character has to be brainwashed repeatedly before he can eat mayonaise without throwing up. They also give him a watch which sprays hot sauce, just in case his conditioning fails.

Onto Nerds of a Feather! On today’s show, I discussed the following:

- The new robo-ferret, which will sniff out drugs at airports! Nowhere near as effectively as Negrodriod could in his prime, but still.

- Does your dad like to cut shit in half? The Pizza Boss is probably what he’s after, provided he likes Pizza made of trees.

- I talked to the guys about my recent trip to the Yarra. And by “to”, I mean “in”. On Saturday, Luke kicked me into it. Stay tuned for the footage, it’s being edited together this week!

- Sick of having to touch toilet paper? Sick of toilet technology that hasn’t been updated since the 1880’s? Try THE COMFORT WIPE! But don’t. Seriously. Your dignity isn’t worth it.

- We chatted about the advent of the Cat Cafe, specifically one in Osaka, Japan. The majority of cats are profound douchebags. Why would I pay to get hissed at and ignored?

- The chief scientist at SETI (the search for Intelligent Life in space), Dan Werthimer, gave a talk about projects which failed to recieve federal funding, and which of them actually went ahead.

Make sure to check back later today for the podcast. And remember to wish Luke a happy birthday. His circuits need emotional lube.

/Paul