Ok, it’s been quite a morning. Let me fill you in on the past 24 hours, as a LOT of weird and tragic shit has happened.
1) Farrah Fawcett died, aged 62, of anal cancer. Jesus.
This is just awful. Confusing, pointless, and an awful way to go. Also, previously I’d have giggled at the word anal, but the seriousness of this gave me a bit of a slapdown. So what happened next?
2) Michael Jackson died, aged 50 (more or less). He suffered a cardiac arrest earlier this afternoon at his Holmby Hills home and paramedics were unable to revive him.
In light of the recent Perez Hilton shitstorm (wherein he yelled at Will.I.Am, in front of friends and colleagues at a nightclub, that he was a “fucking faggot” and then got rightfully punched), here’s Hilton’s initial blog post regarding the breaking news about Jackson.
“We knew something like this would happen!!
Michael Jackson was taken by ambulance from his Holmby Hills home to a nearby Los Angeles hospital on Thursday afternoon!!
Supposedly, the singer went into cardiac arrest and the paramedics had to administer CPR!!!
His mother is even on the way to visit him!!!
We are dubious!!
Jacko pulled a similar stunt when he was getting ready for his big HBO special in ‘95 when he “collapsed” at rehearsal!
He was dragging his heels on that just like his upcoming 50 date London residency at the 02 Arena, of which he already postponed the first few dates!!!
Either he’s lying or making himself sick, but we’re curious to see if he’s able to go on!!!
Get your money back, ticket holders!!!!”
Nice punctuation, you prolific douche-pagoda.
3) Jeff Goldblum widely reported to have died.
…I’m sorry, WHAT? How the fuck does Goldblum die without me knowing? When someone like Jeff Goldblum dies, I’d know! I’d hear a million voices cry out, then get suddenly silenced! Silenced by what? Kevin Spacey. A few hours after the rumor mill started claiming Goldblum had met his unlikely demise, Spacey tweeted the following:
@KevinSpacey Jeff Goldblum is alive and well. I just spoke to his manager. Stop these stupid rumors.
I’m unspeakably glad. However, I already went ahead and compiled some of my favourite Goldblum video clips. So now, to celebrate the fact that he isn’t dead… my favourite Jeff Goldblum video clips!
Goldblum makes some amazing and arousing noises.
Goldblum drunk.
Goldblum as New Jersey, in one of my favourite films of all time, Buckaroo Banzai.
Ahh, Jeff. It’s… surprisingly hard to find good video of you on youtube.
/Paul
17 responses so far ↓
1 Hel // Jun 26, 2009 at 10:55 am
I was suspicious of the Goldblum rumour.
If I was going to make up a story about another celebrity dying today, I would have chosen Goldblum. Not sure why. Something about him makes him good fake-story fodder. Not because he’s like a walking punchline, but kinda. It’s a good left-field-but-well-know celeb. Like he’s almost big enough for a headline, but not quite….I dunno. I’m over thinking this aren’t I?
2 Ed // Jun 26, 2009 at 10:56 am
No ‘Life Aquatic’?!! Just read someone’s twitter stating “If Jeff Goldblum had died it would give new meaning to the phrase ‘dropping like flies’”. Gold.
3 Finn // Jun 26, 2009 at 11:06 am
Hel – he’s a notable meme on the interbutts already.
4 NinaB // Jun 26, 2009 at 11:06 am
What? No Earth Girls are Easy?
5 Hel // Jun 26, 2009 at 11:12 am
Does that make me really dumb that I had to google both ‘meme’ and ‘interbutts’?
6 Taylor // Jun 26, 2009 at 11:40 am
Douche-pagoda…I like that. I need to start using that.
And hoo-rah the Buckaroo Banzai footage…great movie!!
7 Aqualec // Jun 26, 2009 at 1:01 pm
@paul Douche-pagoda is an awesome term!
8 Aqualec // Jun 26, 2009 at 4:14 pm
Lol this just in Michael Jackson death caused google to crash – http://www.bandt.com.au/news/1E/0C061F1E.asp
9 beckoning_ // Jun 26, 2009 at 4:55 pm
Those Goldblum noises are a crack up! Can’t find my favourite clip anywhere… the scene in Annie Hall when he’s on the phone “Hello, I forgot my mantra” haha *Goldblum noises*
10 paul // Jun 26, 2009 at 4:56 pm
I know, I cannot tell you how long I looked for that clip from Annie Hall. If you find it, let me know.
11 wayne // Jun 27, 2009 at 5:06 pm
the saddest news I heard yesterday is that the goldblum story was only a rumour….
12 Georgie // Jun 27, 2009 at 8:56 pm
On the topic of Michael Jackson: it defies reason how many people sincerely believe he had a skin condition.
How does that explain the nose/lip situation, oh humble plebeians?
How, I ask!
Anyway, keeping with the topic of ‘weird and tragic shit,’ I present to you the video for ‘Shoes’ by Tiga.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lE2B8PfsvGk
The last thirty seconds were some of the weirdest moments of my life- apart from the No Fuck Friday videos, of course.
13 manchux // Jun 28, 2009 at 8:21 pm
it’s so sad, i will never good ‘farrah fawcett’ and ‘anal’ again.
14 manchux // Jun 28, 2009 at 8:23 pm
i can’t stop hitting “replay” on that top clip. so great, i’m glad he didn’t die of anal cancer.
15 Aegis // Jun 29, 2009 at 10:43 am
is that a for-real snippet from perez hilton’s blog? if it is wtf is he famous? it reads like a monkey got a hold of a keyboard somewhere and thought the exclamation mark was either “banana” and/or “masturbate”.
16 Danielle // Jun 29, 2009 at 2:18 pm
I love that Kevin Spacey shot down the rumours, I also love that he did it on twitter.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=–40RLF5UGo Jurassic Park Sweded. Very funny.
17 NinaB // Jul 1, 2009 at 8:31 pm
This made me laugh: http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/220019/june-29-2009/jeff-goldblum-will-be-missed
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