Loathe as I am to inflict anything motoring related on a Saturday morning, this is pretty fucking awesome. And you will never own it.
“The muscle of the future is made of clouds. Clouds and sharp edges. Shawn Deutchman presents this concept car, the “Cerulian;” a pillow fantasy on the inside, protection on the outside. It seems to take those two simple concepts, comfort and protection, very basic elements of all modern autos, and takes them to a strange extreme. The Cerulian is based on 1970’s muscle cars, virtual reality, and the selling of the founding principal of the proposed manufacturer of the car; Opel: to build and sell dreams.”
Basically, imagine some playboy millionaire with WAY too much money. Let’s call him… Jesse.* Anyway, Jesse wants to fight crime, but he doesn’t like getting knocked around whilst driving, and the animal he has chosen to embody to strike terror into urban miscreants is an oyster. However, due to a birth defect, Jesse can’t draw oysters, and the Oystermobile (dubbed The Cerulian) looks like something that would give even the staunchest Dadaist erectile disfunction.
I have no idea what any of that means. But if you want to drive around in a cubist nightmare on wheels filled with pillows, and…actually, this sounds awesome. Maybe we can start up a Cerulian collection on the blog.
I mean, uh… orphan collection. Please, give generously. The orphans are bleeding to death and need your money. I’ll give it to them. Yay orphans.
/Paul
(Link via Notcot)
*As I write this, the season one finale of Full House is playing in the background. I like to treat myself to a little irony on occasion. Fuck you, I think I’m worth it.
6 responses so far ↓
1 Taylor // May 23, 2009 at 12:48 pm
I don’t get it. Is the roof made of corrugated aluminum? Is this what Opel did with their shed?
And Full House? Really!? On a Saturday!??!
2 Anthony // May 23, 2009 at 5:25 pm
It looks cool… I think
But how does it work????
3 wayne // May 23, 2009 at 5:28 pm
I’d rather be riding in this….
http://mdn.mainichi.jp/photospecials/graph/gundam/
4 Aqualec // May 25, 2009 at 1:09 pm
I whipped this up quickly:
Oysterman, Oysterman,
Does whatever a Oyster can
Makes a pearl, any size,
Catches thieves in his shell
Look Out!
Here comes the Oysterman.
Is he strong?
Listen bud,
He’s got a radioactive shell.
Can he swim like fish?
No he can’t he’s a shell
Hey, there
There goes the Oysterman.
In the chill of night
At the scene of a crime
Like a streak of light
He arrives just in time.
Oysterman, Oysterman
Friendly neighborhood Oysterman
Wealth and fame
He’s ingnored
Action is his reward.
To him, life is a great big bang up
Whenever there’s a hang up
You’ll find the Oyster man.
@wayne oooooo i hope it’s still there when i go to Japan!
5 Kia // May 25, 2009 at 2:52 pm
I am SO loving the Oysterman! I bet he has a girlfriend tho… Her names would be MJ – the M standing for Mermaid and I haven’t quite come up with anything sea related for J… Maybe Juice on account of her being wet all the time… Yeah, Mermaid Juice, that works… or doesn’t. Sorry, that’s my best effort on account of partying hard Thursday, Friday, Saturday AND Sunday night while chaining the most awesome web designer to a chair and a laptop until he finished my new site. Think he used a wordpress template tho… FUCK I’m tired! :-s Sick car, I’ll donate to the orphans if you give me a ride.
6 Aqualec // May 25, 2009 at 3:32 pm
Yes i can see some villains for him too,
Dr Kilpatrick (Russian Homicidal Scientist, cause all russian villains are cool) and his sidekick Mister Mornay.
Lady M.Flammea (a female dominatrix squid), Musseles Malone (Gangster of the Seven Seas), Barnacle Barry and Plankton Pete.
I can think of more
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