The Somewhat Ambitious

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Peddling state secrets. In style!

May 20th, 2009 · 7 Comments

meow

The whole phenomenon of USB drives is something very much open to personal preference. Some prefer to carry their top secret military secrets around on a small, non-descript black rectangle. “Here you are, Gregor. Get these to the Kommisar.” Gregor takes said black rectangle. You leave.

Fuck that.

Imagine this. A freezing evening in Moscow. For some reason you’ve eaten Chinese food. Chinese food! In Moscow! Novel. Anyway, you see Gregor. He rubs his calloused hands together and eyes you up and down (this is starting to sound like very bad, violent porno; bear with me). “Where is the data?” he mutters. “Let me… just…” you begin, reaching into your pocket. You pull out an odd-looking object. But as he closes his hand around it, IT TURNS INTO A FUCKING ROBOT CAT AND KILLS HIM.

The cat slinks into your coat pocket, and you look down at the corpse of Gregor. “Tell the Kommisar he can go fuck himself”. With that, you walk off into the night.

I guess what I’m trying to say is this. WOOHOO! TRANSFORMER USB!

I think.

/Paul

(Thanks to Hamish for the link!)

Tags: Gadgets

7 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Aqualec // May 20, 2009 at 10:38 am

    By The Matrix…..

    I want this so badly…..

  • 2 Taylor // May 20, 2009 at 10:41 am

    Dude! You need to just write stories or do cartoons where this kinda shit happens. I love it! :D

  • 3 Hamish // May 20, 2009 at 10:51 am

    However, at USD$43, being barebacked by a stranger in a public toilet somewhere in St Kinda still sounds like an easier way of aquiring one.

    Wait, was that out loud?

  • 4 Aqualec // May 20, 2009 at 10:57 am

    just checked the Pre-Order has sold out. Damn….

  • 5 Dboy // May 20, 2009 at 1:52 pm

    Please write more stories.

    Please.

  • 6 Anthony // May 20, 2009 at 4:40 pm

    I WANT! I WANT NOW!

  • 7 paul // May 20, 2009 at 4:44 pm

    @Dboy: I shall try my best, sir.

    @Anthony: GET A GRIP, YOU SEXY FUCK.

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