The Somewhat Ambitious

Is there anything manlier than flowers?

…According to wikipedia, there are more than eight billion things manlier than flowers, though surprisingly, I’m not amongst them. The sole reason why this is total fucking bullshit: I once stabbed a metro cop in Prague with a sharpened chrysanthemum. He was all like, “nicht angreifen mich mit der stamen!”, and I was all like, “I will NOT spit my gum out, you terse motherfucker!”. Needless to say I can’t discuss it any further, partly due to legal reasons, and partly because I can’t stop shaking when I try and do so.

In Brussels, however, people have no such ‘Nam-esque qualms with flora. The Brussels in Bloom event kicked off this week, celebrating not only flowers, but the willingness of florists to create a giant persian rug in a town square out of their craft. The carpet, set up in the Grand-Place (which I believe is loosely translated into English as ‘grand place’) is made up of over 30 million begonias, and the pattern itself is based on a medieval carpet design. More photos of the spectacular feat can be viewed here.

If I were to be cynical, though, I’d take issue with the motives of the florists involved. If florism (it’s not a word, but feel free to look it up anyway, or start weaving it into your everyday nomenclature just to give people headaches) is anything like other creative fields, there’s a truism which should apply here: too many cooks spoil the broth. If I were an artist pouring myself into a piece this big, I would want to overrule, sabotage and stab anyone else creative near me, and I’d expect them to do the same. So either they’re all dead now from flower-related stabbings, or this isn’t made of flowers. It’s an actual rug from the house of some looming Darwinian nightmare, poised to strike Europe with an airliner-sized fist, and the government (when pressed for an explanation), panicked and went with “flowers”.

I would not want to be a bee in Brussels right now.

/Paul

(Link via Notcot)