Quite a few listeners wanted to know about the vampire brick story from this weeks Nerds of a Feather, so here’s a more detailed rundown of the actual story.
Basically, a skeleton exhumed from a grave in Venice is being claimed as the first known example of the “vampires” widely referred to in contemporary documents. This is partly (ok, totally) due to the brick found jammed in her mouth.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. How do we know she wasn’t just enjoying a delicious brick sandwich? Because there’s no such THING as a brick sandwich. At the time the woman died, many people believed that the plague was spread by “vampires” which, rather than drinking people’s blood… delicious, life-giving blood… spread disease by chewing on their shrouds after dying. Grave-diggers put bricks in the mouths of suspected vampires to stop them doing this, apparently. The question I posed to the guys was this: What’s wrong with a corpse chewing on fabric? I used to chew on my Spot books all the time. I STILL chew on my Spot books. …Ladies.
In summation: Vampire likes to chew on shrouds. People don’t like having shrouds chewed on. People put bricks in vampires mouth, but vampire is already dead, so logically if they ARE as powerful as they’re meant to be, a brick ain’t gonna do jack. Vampire enjoys delicious brick sandwich.
…Upon reflection, this is a very stupid story.
/Paul
(Link via New Scientist)
6 responses so far ↓
1 Teeje // Mar 12, 2009 at 10:56 am
…so if I put a brick in your mouth while you sleep, dear, you won’t chew on my night shirt?
2 Tim // Mar 12, 2009 at 12:06 pm
Some comment about the roughage in a vampires diet just seems a little too easy and yet, still very fitting.
3 Aegis // Mar 12, 2009 at 3:13 pm
can you *imagine* the shit you could’ve convinced people of back then?! oh god i nearly wet myself with the possibilities.
“That woman is a werewolf! quick we can cure her if we strap chickens about her person, douse her in fish oil and scream the lyrics to Achey Breaky Heart at her!”
4 Taylor // Mar 13, 2009 at 1:21 am
Dude, can I just say not a stupid story. You broke this last week on NOAF. It took Yahoo until yesterday to list this as news!
You’re cutting edge, man! Cutting edge!
5 wendy // Mar 14, 2009 at 3:22 am
so she could not use her hands to grab you, or remove the brick?
and increase thier ranks for what? apparently all they did was lie around and drink blood, sounds like todays politicans.
6 Hamish // Mar 17, 2009 at 7:06 pm
She’s bitey-bitey!
I smell a hilarious Weird-Al Yankovic style pardoy song coming on!
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