The Somewhat Ambitious

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301!

March 12th, 2009 · 5 Comments

301!!!!!

Almost as exciting as 300! What happened in 301 you say? Boy, what didn’t happen?

Well, for starters, Roman Emperor Diocletian issued an Edict on Maximum Prices, which, rather than halting rampant inflation and stabilizing the economy, added to inflationary pressures by flooding the economy with new coinage and by setting price limits too low. Holy shit! Why didn’t Zack Snyder do a movie about that?

But it doesn’t stop there! Oh no, not in the year 301, year of EXCITEMENT! This was also the year in which Armenia became the first ever nation to adopt Christianity as their state religion. Did you hear that Jesus? Armenia hearts you 4EVA! And Jesus hearts you Armenia… periodic genocides notwithstanding.

What was that? Was that the sound of sovereignty? Damn right, because on September the 3rd, 301 AD, San Marino became a nation. Pop the fermented yam juice and shelve the ploughs, because San Marino is in party mode.

What? Europe not to your taste? Well things were heating up in China too when Sima Lun briefly usurped the Jing Dynasty before dying on June 5. How did he die? POISON!!!! Is there anything this year didn’t have?????

Yes.

/Luke

P.S. Happy 301 posts dear reader. Hang around for post 602 because, I tell you now, the Byzantine Empire gets into all sorts of wacky hi-jinks with those pesky Avars.

Tags: Random Idiocy

5 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Taylor // Mar 13, 2009 at 1:23 am

    God forbid I ask what happened in 302…

  • 2 RichardB // Mar 13, 2009 at 11:13 am

    Dear The Somewhat Ambitious (Paul and Luke),

    I am an exectuive for a large and in no way fictional television company. I’m very rich, and have a huge office. Want proof? I’m smoking a cigar right now! Would a poor person smoke a cigar? And see that big building towering above you? See the top floor? I’m probably in it, smoking a cigar. Probably.

    I’ve been reading your blog for some time now, and have been looking for a new idea for a new, big, new television programme for children. After reading your post “301″, I was struck your use of the phrase “Pop the fermented yam juice”. As such, I would like to pay you for the rights to “Pop the fermented yam juice”, which will be turned into an animated series, an animated feature and a series of action figures. I think we can fuse some staggeringly violent imagery with the sweet innocence of youth and create something truly upsetting.

    Yours,

    Richard Branson, probably.

  • 3 brodie // Mar 15, 2009 at 10:29 am

    happy 301st

  • 4 brodie // Mar 15, 2009 at 10:30 am

    did that picture work?
    eff.
    http://ghostwerld.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/group3.jpg?w=450&h=388

  • 5 Luke // Mar 15, 2009 at 11:44 am

    brodie: if that is, in fact, on its way to me, i may have to marry you

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