Ever wanted to be rewarded for being a nerd? Rewarded with EMBROIDERY?* Well, now you can be, if you’re so inclined. Yep, nerd merit badges. I was a scout for a peroid of about six months, during which time I was constantly ridiculed by a bunch of knot-tying dong-holsters, toggled to the hilt, brandishing three fingers aloft and quoting Kipling. The one saving grace of the ordeal, which could only be fully understood by one Anne Frank, were the fucking badges. In spite of the fact that none of them lauded my nerd skills. O, for a time machine and a sewing kit:
1.5″, fully-embroidered, Velcro-backed. Attach to your jacket, your backpack, or the lid of your overclocked, battle-scarred laptop. Start a nerd sash!
New badges are being added all the time, so make sure to sign up for updates. They’re even on Twitter! I’ll be waiting for baited breath for the ‘World of Warcraft’ badge, the ‘hyperbole proficiency’ badge, and the ‘really bitter about scouts’ badge.
/Paul
(Link via Boing Boing)
*I can safely say that I’ve never had reason to write the word embroidery all in upper case. Now that I have, I feel… sexy.
7 responses so far ↓
1 Anthony // Jan 29, 2009 at 9:23 am
I was a scout, and a cub and a venturer… We were super-scouts and got to go to the state competition once. But My friends and I got kicked out of venturers and then had to leave another unit…
Moral of the story, don’t kiss the leaders daughter… even if she is only a year or two younger than you. It makes things awkward…
2 Lozzmo // Jan 30, 2009 at 3:52 pm
I am currently a rowdy Rover Scout and the Jelly Wrestling, Booze drinking, Std stories maybe true for some, my scouting beliefs run deep back to rural australia as an escape plan to the world.
scouting has taught me so much about myself and I can honestly say that ive met some of the best friends anyone could ever ask for because of this organisation. Well to be brutally honest scouts is what you make it and no we are not nerds and nor are our accomplishments, and we dont fit any sort of over used stero type that this article is trying to suggest.
It is closed minded social slaves like you who dont allow diversity and do no recognise many many extraordinary challenges people complete and instead praise the footy players or people who can sit still in a chair and press their foot down into a pedal a few centimetres..
Grow up please so we can all make a move on to see a better day and create new things.
Laura
3 paul // Jan 30, 2009 at 4:11 pm
Hi Lozzmo! Thanks for you post. A few points:
1) Being a nerd is a good thing, hence the existence of this site.
2) Please don’t refer to me as a “slave”. Luke, who writes for this site, is of African American descent (read: Miles Davis), and the word brings up painful memories. Have a heart.
3) If I ever praise football, punch me in the cock.
4) Welcome to The Somewhat Ambitious! What you have read is a series of jokes. You’ll find a few of these scattered throughout this website from time to time.
Also, since when were the scouts a haven for debauchery? This is a misconception, and I’d thank you not to pour this kind of hate into the social unconscious as I am technically still a scout, and thems be fighting words. Also, my father is an astronaut and does mad fisticuffs.
Love,
Paul.
4 Lozzmo // Jan 30, 2009 at 9:54 pm
Alright Paul, I am touched by your love and I must say you did hit a nerve with the the whole world of warcraft badge thing, so in that respect I apoligise – it must be all this 48 degree weather broken air con situation… Ok well, to be honest again its techically not broken its just that the entire south of Aus is out of power.. so Until we learn how to find these power points that people keep telling me are in trees at camps to plug in my hair straightener… I’ll try to be nice.
Remember, Once a scout, always a scout.
Yours truly,
your Uber-scout, Laura.
“on my honour, I promise to do my best, to do my dutie to my god, to the queen of Australia and to live by the scout law.”
5 paul // Jan 30, 2009 at 10:13 pm
Yes, damned heat. But look at us! We’re building bridges! Dib dib dib!
6 Lozzmo // Jan 30, 2009 at 10:18 pm
So do I get a nerd merit badge for being the type that actually posts in forums? perhaps I should start by giving out small embroided tokens of appreciation.
with love,
Laura
p.s cub scouts stopped using dib dib dib dob dob dob over 15 years ago.
7 paul // Jan 30, 2009 at 10:46 pm
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
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