The Somewhat Ambitious

Yesterday’s copy of The Age turned up this particular gem of sordid nerddom. Hidden under the relatively innocuous title ‘Web of deceit leads to divorce’ there lies a charming tale of double crosses, illicit romance and private investigators. All of which just happened to occur in Second Life. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, that game is fucking terrifying. The article’s almost worth extracting in its entirety, but here are a few choice paragraphs:

But after Amy Pollard, 28, discovered her husband’s character in the arms of another female player in the Second Life world she filed for divorce, citing “unreasonable behaviour”.

She claimed that David Pollard, 40, committed adultery with the computer-animated woman and said it was the second time she had caught his character cheating on her.

In February last year, she said he had “sex” with an online callgirl character. She even hired a private detective in the game to investigate his “adultery”. She has filed for divorce, which is due to be finalised next week. Mrs Pollard said: “The solicitor wasn’t at all surprised. She said it was her second divorce case involving Second Life that week.”

The couple, who have been married for three years, first met in the game where their alter-egos were “Dave Barmy” and “Laura Skye”. They met in real life and moved into a house in Cornwall. They were married in July 2005. They marked the occasion by holding a virtual wedding in Second Life, modelling it on the “fairytale” ceremony of David and Victoria Beckham.

But as with most characters on Second Life, the couple’s alter-egos do not resemble their real-life appearances. Mr Pollard, a large, balding man, is represented by a tall, black man with long hair and a sharp grey suit. Mrs Pollard, who has red hair, appears as a pretty Hispanic woman with long black hair. She said she discovered her husband’s most recent online infidelity in April after she had woken from an afternoon nap and caught Mr Pollard in a compromising position — on the screen.

Mrs Pollard said her estranged husband was now engaged to the woman he had an “affair” with on Second Life, though they had never met in real life, as she is an American woman.

She said she had also found a new man, whom she met online while playing World of Warcraft.

This story has got to have some of the best uses of inverted commas I’ve ever seen. You can just imagine the knowing smirk on the writer’s face as they tap out each “adultery”, “affair”, “sex”, “unreasonable behaviour” and “fairytale”. And then you think it couldn’t get any better and suddenly there’s the Warcraft punch at the end. Too good. I wonder what server she’s on… Ah, it’s all too much. Like, when this gets dished up on to your plate as a journalist you surely must have to take a second, turn your eyes upward and thank God for being so kind.

/Luke