An american man, who was driving drunk and who led police on a car chase, managed to run himself over. Apparently, after a series of profoundly retarded acts (driving through barbed wire was my highlight, especially given the scarcity of barbed wire in most cities), the unnamed miscreant fell out of the car and ran over his own legs. I call bullshit on this. Want my explanation?
WORMHOLE.
There, I said it. He travelled through a wormhole, found out some terrible secret, and came back from the future to run over his own legs. Who knows, maybe to prevent some mad dance moves he’d come up with which would lead to nuclear war. Which is why, dear readers, I do not dance.*
/Paul
*Also, when I dance I look like a muppet being electrocuted.
5 responses so far ↓
1 Pete // Nov 28, 2008 at 10:37 am
Don’t dance? C’mon I’m sure there’s a little bit of bee hiding somewhere deep in you that just can’t wait to dance (see how I did that, linked the last post and this one? I amaze me).
2 paul // Nov 28, 2008 at 10:48 am
Hell, you amaze me. From now on, you are to be referred to as Link. See what I did there?
3 Pete // Nov 28, 2008 at 3:50 pm
“Hell, you amaze me. From now on, you are to be referred to as Link. See what I did there?”
Woo! I choose to believe that was a genuine complement. My life is complete.
4 Luke // Nov 28, 2008 at 8:23 pm
although, of course, now you have to save the princess zelda from a life of power, castles and jacuzzis with ganon. it’s a sacred duty but, pete, i think you may just be the man for it.
5 Pete // Nov 29, 2008 at 8:20 pm
I’m all up for that, but for some strange reason I’m trapped in the body of a retarded dog and I feel strangely compelled to chase bugs.
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