In an act of unprecedented douchebaggery (not really, it happens all the time when ballsacks get greedy), the gentlemen who comprise the guild Archaeus have been boned. Not literally, of course, and if that were the case, who am I to judge? No, the non-literal boning in question occured during a raid of The Black Temple, when two players rolled need on several epic items and bolted. The reasons this was such a heinous thing to do, and the reasons I’m mentioning it, are threefold.
1) The two players have previous records of stealing loot during boss fights in raids, cleaning out guild banks and then changing servers, and bragging about all of this on the wow forums.
2) The biggest item stolen in said raid was one of the Warglaives of Azzinoth.
3) A GUILD MEMBER SENT AN EMAIL TO THE KID’S PRINCIPAL.
That’s right, in an act of surreal ballsiness, an angry and hilariously well written email was sent. I’ll omit names, but here’s a tasty excerpt:
What I am seeking is the following:
I would like *****’s parents and teachers aware of what occurred.
I would like ***** to acknowledge the hurt and injury caused to many people by stealing from them and by tarnishing the fun social group we have.
I would like ***** to return the item’s inside the World of Warcraft game.Please do not place this matter outside your scope - it is no different to a student being caught shop lifting at the local mall and needs to be addressed in this manner. In fact I trust that ****** College does emphasise student moral growth as much as academic growth.
You may call me anytime during the day.
This was sent to the principal OF AN ACTUAL SCHOOL. The school is a college in Melbourne, and the fact that this is all happening on my doorstep makes the whole thing all the funnier. Don’t get me wrong, it’s horrible, but the fact that somebody emailed a principal because some blazer-wearing kid bogarted a warglaive of azzinoth has a real Harry Potter feel to it. I’m half hoping the principal will be like “damn… they know about the warglaive. I must tell the master!”, and some huge leather chair swings around to reveal the fat kid in the blazer stroking a white cat, running a syndicate of corpulent little retards who ninja loot, with the school as a front.
…Wow, these cold and flu meds really do have quite a kick.
(Allegedly the letter, intended as humorous, had started to have an effect - stay tuned for more on this throughout the week)
/Paul
39 responses so far ↓
1 Simon // Jul 22, 2008 at 12:36 pm
Warglaives are obviously hunter loot anyway. But seriously, i hate ninjas.
It’s people like them who make me wish nothing had warning label’s so that the problem of stupid people would solve itself.
Also, where can i find the complete letter and or the brand of flu meds you have? Oh and a link the the flaming forum?
2 paul // Jul 22, 2008 at 12:48 pm
Agreed.
I’ll post the letter later today, and the forum is at http://forums.worldofwarcraft.com/thread.html?topicId=8202614434&sid=1&pageNo=1
It’s like crack, I tells ya!
3 Jonny A // Jul 22, 2008 at 12:51 pm
Welp! This is what happens when a child plays with adults and screws them over! We can’t beat the kid up… but retribution will be had, dammit!
God I just want to be there for a photo-op when this kid’s principle calls him out of class.
The vast majority of the Archaeus membership are 25+ year old professionals. And we’re going to handle this as adults… Hell hath no fury as a nerd-scorned!
4 Jonny A // Jul 22, 2008 at 1:14 pm
I’d be ‘Turp’ by the way. Hunter-guy in Archaeus.
5 paul // Jul 22, 2008 at 1:18 pm
This is something I would seriously consider presenting, deadpan, to A Current Affair.
6 Launchy // Jul 22, 2008 at 5:26 pm
Umm.. you didn’t have Master Looter on?
ROFL.. your RL is a noob.
7 paul // Jul 22, 2008 at 5:28 pm
They’re old school, and they have a weird trust thing going on. I’m sure they’ve tried to break the habit, but hey.
8 Jonny A // Jul 22, 2008 at 5:31 pm
Trust! It’s good where you can get it!
Every click of the ‘pass’ button makes us all that little bit closer.
9 Glaive // Jul 22, 2008 at 8:17 pm
WARGLAIVE OF AZZINOTH
WARGLAIVE OF AZZINOTH
WARGLAIVE OF AZZINOTH
WARGLAIVE OF AZZINOTH
WARGLAIVE OF AZZINOTH
WARGLAIVE OF AZZINOTH
WARGLAIVE OF AZZINOTH
WARGLAIVE OF AZZINOTH
WARGLAIVE OF AZZINOTH
WARGLAIVE OF AZZINOTH
WARGLAIVE OF AZZINOTH
WARGLAIVE OF AZZINOTH
WARGLAIVE OF AZZINOTH
WARGLAIVE OF AZZINOTH
WARGLAIVE OF AZZINOTH
10 FRI // Jul 22, 2008 at 8:23 pm
HE DID THE WRITE THING
SUNDERZ <3 4 ever!
11 Heus // Jul 22, 2008 at 8:34 pm
THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER
Gratz Compz
12 afl // Jul 22, 2008 at 8:34 pm
/schoolkicked for playing a satanic game while underage
13 Loyaslsoul // Jul 22, 2008 at 8:35 pm
Dude ure a mad bastard, fri was like guess what sunderz did, I guessed straight up lol,
Its a shame your only 15, or u would be in for some arse rapage, Goodjob, least u can make some more money on your account. when u sell it
From epic gems x100- to a warglaive good to see u are going up in the world. The guild u were in are the real clowns no ML when the boss drops legendary items idiots, and them trusting you in the first place, lol
14 Koud // Jul 22, 2008 at 8:35 pm
WTF were u finking its like giving a child molester a key to a kindergarten
Idiots, got what u deserved
15 kuro // Jul 22, 2008 at 8:35 pm
loloololo
16 kuro // Jul 22, 2008 at 8:37 pm
<3 u jed xoxoxooxoxo
17 FRI // Jul 22, 2008 at 8:38 pm
THIS THREAD NOW BELONGS TO RAPTURE!!!!!
18 kuro // Jul 22, 2008 at 8:38 pm
YOU SHALL NOT PASS
19 Thagnar // Jul 22, 2008 at 8:39 pm
IM A FAG
20 Hoj // Jul 22, 2008 at 8:40 pm
Turp u are really starting to annoy me, can u plz stfu and build a bridge, we get it he is bad ect ect
21 Loyaslsoul // Jul 22, 2008 at 8:45 pm
Hoj,
i miss the teradactale bro
Fuck
22 paul // Jul 22, 2008 at 8:47 pm
Good to see private school education hard at work here. Well done, children!
23 Loyaslsoul // Jul 22, 2008 at 8:49 pm
Cry more scrub
24 I wove turkey and chicken // Jul 22, 2008 at 8:50 pm
haha turkey and chicken own beef and pork
25 luke // Jul 22, 2008 at 9:00 pm
this is SO awesome.
26 ArchaeusGuildLeader // Jul 22, 2008 at 9:01 pm
I will fking kill u cleptar u fking no good scumbag fgt, i will hunt u down and go down on you like donkey kong on peach, u will pay for the crimes committed against my guild
27 Right // Jul 22, 2008 at 9:12 pm
You seriously think a college is going to take “action” , First of all you don’t own crap, the “property” belongs to Blizzard inc. Secondly I really doubt a college gives a damn about what a paying student is doing on a video game in his free time. You have to be the must retarded group of people, get over yourself.
28 Loyaslsoul // Jul 23, 2008 at 3:21 am
Cleptar Stole like 100+ epic gems probly more like 200 From his guild before joining yours.
we bagged him hard on oceanic forums, and the general majority said good on ya mate blah blah.
You guys knew what he was like and yet you still let him in your guild. Who-ever’s descision it was to let him in the guild. find him/her and give them a beatdown. Hes a 15-16 year old kid. he likes big shiny things. Whoever gave him the G invite dug your whole guilds fuking grave . Goodjob.
Its a shame that u guys lost out- a warglaive thats a slut, can farm illidan for months and not get one. But why the fuck wasnt their a Master Looter, if it was a descision to not have one because u maybe couldnt be fucked, ure a bunch of idiots. NO ML when legendary items drop, wtf were u thinking. Its a shame that it comes down to your own stupidity. Cleptar will get his in the end, im sure he will recieve a beatdown at some point. “crimes commited against my guild” ——>You are a fucking Clown.
U commited the crime to let that clown run with you, have a look in the mirror before dishing out your emo bullshit.
Cleptar your a jerk, but atleast you do it with style /lick
29 Simon // Jul 23, 2008 at 12:52 pm
Remember kid’s. When in doubt, blame Telstra.
Interesting side note, my spell checker wants to change Telstra into Mealstrom…
30 Common Theif // Jul 27, 2008 at 3:57 am
Compz returned the items he stole…Graky is yet to do this.
Theft is theft no matter the situation.
31 Tomorrow on the Breakfast Show! // Jul 29, 2008 at 7:47 pm
[...] about a recent bizarre Warcraft-related incursion. The original entry which started the whole thing can be found here. I’ll also be discussing earthquakes, Back to the Future and Lawnmower [...]
32 aeshai // Jul 30, 2008 at 8:28 am
How can you “return” a BOP - that’s what I want to know.
33 Valensword // Jul 30, 2008 at 9:27 am
I was listening to RM&D on JJJ this morning and at the end of your section on this topic you said that the item was returned.. Was that a mistake as the item is BOP so unless he returned it in the form of the 24g that it Vendors for I cant really see how this is possible.. Did I hear correctly?
34 Valensword // Jul 30, 2008 at 9:31 am
Oh btw grats on actually saying the words “Warglaive of Azzinoth” out loud on national radio.. Now that was funny! hehe
35 Jonny // Jul 30, 2008 at 9:31 am
No, that’s correct. He logged back in and ticketed a Gamemaster. It was returned by the GM through in-game mail to one of our other rogues.
http://www.wowarmory.com/character-sheet.xml?r=Jubei%27Thos&n=Liyliyth
36 paul // Jul 30, 2008 at 5:14 pm
I sometimes feel sorry for the guys when I assail them with these foreign terms, but then I realise it’s educational, in a way.
In a weird, wonderful way.
37 Bumrush // Jul 31, 2008 at 12:47 am
The sad little douche got what he deserved.
38 australia history // Aug 1, 2008 at 5:01 pm
[...] [...]
39 Colma // Aug 2, 2008 at 3:22 am
“i will hunt u down and go down on you like donkey kong on peach”
I am oddly aroused by this
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