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WTB One Ass-Kicking

July 22nd, 2008 · 76 Comments

In an act of unprecedented douchebaggery (not really, it happens all the time when ballsacks get greedy), the gentlemen who comprise the guild Archaeus have been boned. Not literally, of course, and if that were the case, who am I to judge? No, the non-literal boning in question occured during a raid of The Black Temple, when two players rolled need on several epic items and bolted. The reasons this was such a heinous thing to do, and the reasons I’m mentioning it, are threefold.

1) The two players have previous records of stealing loot during boss fights in raids, cleaning out guild banks and then changing servers, and bragging about all of this on the wow forums.

2) The biggest item stolen in said raid was one of the Warglaives of Azzinoth.

3) A GUILD MEMBER SENT AN EMAIL TO THE KID’S PRINCIPAL.

That’s right, in an act of surreal ballsiness, an angry and hilariously well written email was sent. I’ll omit names, but here’s a tasty excerpt:

What I am seeking is the following:

I would like *****’s parents and teachers aware of what occurred.
I would like ***** to acknowledge the hurt and injury caused to many people by stealing from them and by tarnishing the fun social group we have.
I would like ***** to return the item’s inside the World of Warcraft game.

Please do not place this matter outside your scope – it is no different to a student being caught shop lifting at the local mall and needs to be addressed in this manner. In fact I trust that ****** College does emphasise student moral growth as much as academic growth.

You may call me anytime during the day.

This was sent to the principal OF AN ACTUAL SCHOOL. The school is a college in Melbourne, and the fact that this is all happening on my doorstep makes the whole thing all the funnier. Don’t get me wrong, it’s horrible, but the fact that somebody emailed a principal because some blazer-wearing kid bogarted a warglaive of azzinoth has a real Harry Potter feel to it. I’m half hoping the principal will be like “damn… they know about the warglaive. I must tell the master!”, and some huge leather chair swings around to reveal the fat kid in the blazer stroking a white cat, running a syndicate of corpulent little retards who ninja loot, with the school as a front.

…Wow, these cold and flu meds really do have quite a kick.

(Allegedly the letter, intended as humorous, had started to have an effect – stay tuned for more on this throughout the week)

/Paul

Tags: Gaming

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